Posts Tagged "homemaking"

2010 Redux – An Open Letter

Posted by Sharon Pakir on Dec 31, 2010 in Capability, Lifestyle | 0 comments

Dear 2010,

As the world around me prepares for New Year’s Eves festivities to say a dastardly goodbye to you, I’m taking a moment to reflect: you have been a huge mixed bag for me. I can safely say there’s never been a year where I felt quite so on top, and quite so low, all at once. Let me explain, 2010, why I don’t hate you (but have a cautious relationship with you):

Here was 2010:

This year, I travelled a lot, particularly in the first half of the year. I finally got to see India, one of my “homelands”. I went to Bali twice, Malaysia twice, and was in Singapore every 2-3 months on average. I was interstate so often (every 3-4 weeks) that my Australia wide salsa family has never seemed so close, or as wonderful. This was so nice, years of being in such a small scene have brought some of us industry leaders together in such a wonderful way, every trip though work based, has felt like a holiday with friends.

This year, I’ve had lots of visitors too, visitors that meant the world to me – Sheila for a month, my mummy when I needed her most, my Aunty and my cousin whom I adore oh so very much. Those visits inevitably left me feeling more and more like Melbourne and Singapore are both tandem homes, and like my life here wasn’t isolated from my loved ones, but shared in lovely ways.

This year, I got injured a lot. A pinched nerve in my neck/shoulder at the start of the year, a torn ankle ligament mid year, and then the most devastating of all, a prolapsed disc that was pretty serious but luckily escaped surgery. I spent 4 months of 2010 either in bed, or in a catatonic painkiller-induced stupor, unable to drive, commute, work, dance or travel. It wasn’t fun, it made me depressed, and has pretty much killed the dancing career I had. It really felled me, this injury, and I missed many events, including competitions that my teams apparently placed in (!!), half a best friend’s wedding, and more. I was cared for wonderfully by my friends and S, but nothing in my life had prepared me for this. I’m still coming out of it – there are bad days and good days, but I can drive, I can walk, I can do most things now as long as I take it easy and slow – and for this I am grateful.

This year was when we moved into our “forever home” and for the first time ever, entered home ownership with my beautiful man – and it has funnily enough been in tandem the worst time of my life (injury) and best time (home!). Our relationship has grown incredibly through the entire process, and we go to sleep each night expressing to each other just how blessed we are to share a beautiful home, with each other.

This year, I truly learnt what it feels like to build a future with someone, have experienced true love, have felt that wonderful settled heart inside of me. I’ve learnt to live with teenagers which is an evolving journey. I’ve been welcomed wholeheartedly into S’s family, a wonderful thing since mine is so strongly held in my mind! I’m slowly becoming stronger, and grateful that I have a beautiful space to recover in. I said goodbye to my bachelorette pad of 7 years – where most of my 20s happened, filled with so many incredible memories of debauchery, gatherings, parties, family time, cookups, and more, but moved into my forever home, what a trade!

This year, I decided having a job wasn’t enough, and that having passion in my career was incredibly important. I had insightful conversations with some mentor-like people, for whom I must thank profusely – realising ultimately, what my strengths and callings were, I found the strength to quit my job and pursue my consultancy dreams instead. It’s still slowly coming together, but golly, what a great decision – given the chance to work a job or help people fulfil their capabilities? I choose the latter. Haven’t looked back.

This year, the quitting job thing meant that after 3 years of 17 hour days (day job and then business from 6-10pm every night plus weekends and travel) – I was able to sit back and evaluate. There was no reason to punish my body like that, and even less reason when my health was constantly in flux, my head and heart always a buzz of confusion, and my relationships and friendships suffered due to my absence. This wasn’t the life I wanted, but it took stopping for me to realise that. 2010 was the turning point – I was going to seek the life I wanted without the mayhem.

This year, I learnt to care for myself. To eat right, to be inspired regularly, to see beauty in all around. To celebrate being a woman and my femininity, to understand my body better, to be more in tune with my emotions, my needs, and lifestyle. To be frank with loved ones, to seek healthier relationships, and have the energy to ignore ones fraught with unhappiness. It’s made me a happier person, and I know this will continue now as it has become a way of life.

This year was somewhat drama filled – I was treated by some people from various parts of my life, poorly. I’d never felt so much like I was back in high school being bullied, but I reflect and am proud of my actions, reactions. Drama always happens, it’s the nature of humans, but this year I felt equipped to handle it, with grace, dignity and some humour! I’m glad to be entering my 30th year feeling like I can take whatever any human being throws at me, because of my innate strength and belief in myself. I’m especially glad to have learnt the ultimate skills – of not hurting others just because they’ve hurt you. Of removing myself from the drama. Of staying professional.

This year, I was recognised in my dancing career in ways I never felt before. I’d received accolade and opportunities before that reflected this aspect of my career, but this year, something changed. Feedback from world-renown, respected people, came in droves. Positive affirmation that I was doing well in my business, in our school, in my own dancing. Invitations and offers that blew me away. That made all the things I sometimes have to deal with here in our small dance scene, worthwhile. That made all the ridiculous “tall poppy” type assertions that have at times been unfairly thrown at me, moot.

After so many years of being in the salsa scene, after exactly a decade from my first ever dance lesson, so many years of maintaining my outward exterior whilst in turmoil inside over the vagaries and politics of the scene. So many years of learning, trying so hard, and trying to teach well, all this affirmation was so welcome. The bonus was that it came from everywhere. Yes, we were doing something right. Plus, watching my students excel on a national stage, watching my school grow and watching my team explode with richness - this all was a gift.

This year, I’ve learnt where my support systems are, and am incredulous at just how far reaching and huge my network of love is. In various times of adversity, an unprecedented number of people from far and wide have supported me, assisted me, kept my spirits high, and generally left me wondering how it is that I could be this lucky. Thank you everyone. Truly.

This year, I’ve grown. This is all I can take away from a year that has been at once blessed and brutal. I’ve been humbled by the wonderful things that I’ve been fortunate to experience, receive, and have, angry and sad at the whipping that my body has taken, deliriously happy to have been so close to my family and friends, reflective upon circumstances that I couldn’t change, and hopefully, through it all, been a pleasant person to know. (I take no responsibility for the moments when I was all painkillered up.)

This year, I’ve been enriched by the people around me, have blossomed through new life changes, matured through difficult circumstance. I have grown more into my own skin, and accepted a lot more of myself and human beings around me. I am happier than I was, infinitely so, despite physical circumstance. My heart has swelled, my brain has been nourished, and my life has developed in ways I couldn’t have imagined or planned on 31 Dec 2009. And now that I’m officially almost that stupid number age that no woman wants to think about (hint, it rhymes with “dirty” for a reason) - it’s certainly nice to feel like I’m coming of age.

Most of all 2010, you taught me a lot about being alive, and truly, that I can conquer anything. 2011, give me all you’ve got. I have no plans or expectations – your friend 2010 taught me the folly of that way of thinking! Just bring it, and bring it good!

xo

Shan

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backyard blitz: the deck, part 1

Posted by Sharon Pakir on Dec 30, 2010 in Home & Decor | 1 comment

So S and I have been on a bit of a home-making blitz since moving in just 2 months ago. So far we’re still a tad embarrassed to receive visitors – moving from 2 very different homes to 1, coupled with travel and time-poor schedules (oh and you know, debilitating condition), we haven’t been as productive at getting our home ready as we’d like.

So far we’ve managed to get most of the furniture chosen, bought and moved in, most of our artwork up, and most rooms are functional but not as pretty as I’d like. Also, I’ve still got embarrassing messes everywhere from things that I haven’t found a logical storage home for and am unwilling to stash haphazardly (lest the gods of missing things comes and nabs them). For the most part, the inside of the house is functional, so we thought we’d take advantage of the summer weather to commit some outdoor time to the house.

We have started with the deck – truth be told, we’ve worked so quickly that I didn’t get any before shots. Picture in your mind a regular wooden deck, with wooden beams and about 30 square metres. Oh yeah, a big deck. Our loungeroom opens up into it with wide sliding doors, so it had to be a bit prettier than raw wood, so we started with the beams, posts and pillars.

First, S’s friend Brian gave everything a good once over with his electric hand sander (we didn’t own one, and were a bit terrified to use it, given it’s our first ever DIY project!), then poly-filled the holes, cracks, and dodgy bits.

Then, S got to work sanding everything down by hand with sandpaper. My job here was to uh… watch, and appreciate his fine handywork. Oh, and shout motivational cheers. With pompoms.

Then, and this is key, ON THE SAME DAY, we decided “how hard can it be to paint it all in a few hours”, and off we went painting. Note: this is going to decline quickly into a tale of despair.

And MAN, did that wood just DRINK up the paint. It was really hard, getting the paint to get ON the wood required some elbow grease – we’d paint a stroke and just watch it disappear into the wood, and then PRESS another layer over that. And this was just the first coat. AND it was all 13 feet high so arduous hours precariously perched right on top of ladders, and lots of trips down the ladder to shift it inches by inches, across the deck as we slowly gained ground. *starts pulling out hair thinking about it*…

Luckily we had 2 ladders, so we could work in tandem.

3 hours later, we were still going, and we weren’t even halfway through. We were hungry, too, but so dead-driven on completing the task that we weren’t about to give up. S contemplated doing some strange things, which you just KNOW means delirium is setting in.

Believe it or not, another 4 hours later, we were STILL going, and oh my goodness, the sun had set, and oh my goodness, we still kept finding random beams that had been forgotten, and oh my goodness, I was going crazy trying to not get paint on the ceiling whilst covering the itty-bitty beams that wouldn’t take the paint and… ARRRRRRRRGH!

And did I mention this was a FREAK day in the middle of summer, where it was about 15 degrees (hence my fleece jumper)… AND it was Boxing Day, which meant all that plagued my mind was how I was missing the sales for THIS?! PAINTING?!

Finally though, 7 hours from when we’d started painting, it was done. Excuse the bad photography, I was so tired S had to carry me off the ladder and put me to bed. Oh, and the grainy iphone photos? The DSLR was too heavy for me to try using, I was that exhausted.

A really bad, shaky-handed panorama shot of the first coat done:

So, with that, sore, achey, tired and grumpy, we went to bed.

We woke up the next morning, and the finish didn’t look bad at all (considering we did a lot of it in the dark):

So we spent the day doing the 2nd and 3rd coats. These went on a LOT more easily, because the wood was no longer raw, and the first coat served as a nice smooth base to paint upon. The second coat probably took about just over 2 hours, and S basically followed me around doing the 3rd coat. All in all, it was about 4.5 hours for the second and 3rd coat, which was INCREDIBLE improvement over the day before!

We didn’t NEED to do a 3rd coat, but the 2nd coat was still a teeny bit patchy, and so I went reading the instructions on the can. We used Wattyl Solaguard exterior paint, and it said it was guaranteed for 10 years with 2 coats, and 15 years with 3 coats. WELL. You didn’t have to tell us twice, so off we went with the 3rd coat.

And man, were we pleased we did – the finish became SO smooth and opaque, and the beams looked like new.

We DID have to buy double the amount of paint we’d estimated/been quoted – but that’s because we didn’t prime (Wattyl Solaguard is self-priming) and like i said, the raw timber just drank the paint. We also hadn’t anticipated (so enthusiastically) doing a 3rd coat.

Verdict: We love it. It was a lot of hard work, more than we’d expected, but sooooo worth it. The deck now looked more complete, and certainly more like a “part of the house” rather than “random outdoor feature”. It also looks more in line with the character of our Edwardian weatherboard home. It makes the deck brighter and more airy, and because it’s our “forever home”, we’re glad it’ll last (with luck) 10-15 years.

It was also our first ever DIY big job, so we were pretty proud with the results. Next step  - the decking itself. Stay tuned for Backyard Blitz – The deck, part 2!!

What we used (all purchased at Bunnings):

Electric hand sander

Sand paper (lots of it!)

Wattyl Solaguard paint in Creamy Natural

Bunnings cheap paintbrushes

Bunnings rollers & paint trays

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more home work

Posted by Sharon Pakir on Nov 1, 2010 in Home & Decor | 0 comments

Last weekend S and I bought our final “major” piece of furniture, and finally, our loungeroom is just about complete. It’s our gorgeous TV unit/sideboard, which got delivered mid week, and I’ve spent the last 3 days gushing over.

Of course, we say it’s our final major furniture piece, but now we’re thinking the loungeroom has a bit of an empty nook where we can fit a small dining set… for suppers in front of the tv (sans the grottiness of laying on the couch balancing a bowl on your belly)! I know you just loved that image!

This weekend I also spent a delightful day with my girlfriends selecting some smaller decor items. Having a house to decorate is just so different to an apartment – you need all kinds of pretty things, especially with the kind of home decor that piques my taste! So we paid a visit to Direct Plants for some house plants, and the best ever kitsch Asian ceramics shop hidden in a milk bar, of all things.

And my personal favourite – 2 gorgeous pieces from the Chinese store, coupled with 2 gorgeous plants from Direct Plants, a little re-potting magic, and voila!

Hope you liked today’s excerpt of Sharon’s journey towards homemaking. It’s such an exciting time – and despite having an injury that makes everyday life rather annoying to work through, I’m actually also relishing the oodles of time I have to enjoy, plan and appreciate our little nest.

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a romantic saturday

Posted by Sharon Pakir on Oct 25, 2010 in Lifestyle, Love | 0 comments

Today, unlike most days this last week, the pain abated and didn’t plague me till about 5pm. It was like heaven came and teased me with a few hours of freedom. I made sure to make good use of this though, and so did S – we spent an extremely happy afternoon doing the things we love, together.

1. Went to Orient Express and bought our sideboard/tv unit for the loungeroom, which is the final piece before that room is complete!
2. Bought a gorgeous antique asian ceramic/porcelain stool. So kitsch, and I adore it! Pictures coming after I clean it up a bit.
3. Found some potential lamps/vases for dining and loungeroom. I am loving decorating!
4. Went to Bunnings and had a field day buying gardening supplies.

Of course all this makes for a massive day for Lil Ms Currently Crippled, so by the time we got home the agony had set in. But I didn’t care – I’d had a taste of a gorgeous date afternoon with my lovely man, and it has been too long since we’ve had one of those… It was… heaven.

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