Remember when my back was so bad and I posted about my fabulous recovery plan? (Being mainly that was going to focus on being able to wear high heels again soon, one day, perhaps.) Well, back then I had no idea if I would dance again, let alone wear heels again. And whilst it's now been a whole year, I still have some bad days and some lack of ability to live life at 100%. This week has been a particularly bad pain week, but to be truthful, it comes on the back of 3 weeks of flying through the air dancing, lots of consulting work, and looking after my dad, so I'm hardly surprised. And I can deal with intermittent pain, given I've had so much ongoing, unrelenting pain.
STILL though, and I've only hit this stage about 6 weeks ago - I'm reminded ALL THE TIME of how far I've come. From being bed-bound and weeping daily, from being SO painkillered up and numb all the time, from not knowing how I'd ever dance again. From feeling cloistered at home, useless to anyone, and tired all the time. To 70% normalcy.
Life in the last 2 months have improved considerably, and I almost haven't blogged about it so as not to jinx it. In happy new I'm finally feeling a bit like myself dancing again every so often, ALMOST as fast as I used to be. I feel like I'm closer to being myself again rather than further. Like I said, 70%.
So whilst it's not good yet, it's certainly pretty damn hopeful and unbelievably better. Almost crazily so. And it's all happened in the last 6 weeks. Amazing.
And I like to every so often, celebrate this ultimate triumph with the wearing of some killer heels. Oh my shoes, they have missed me, and I them.
A few friends have chastised me, saying I'm tempting fate and not doing my spine any favours. But you know what? High heels make me feel so alive now, and they make me feel less "ill". It's like I've spent a year in convalescence being dowdy and unpretty, and I ain't doing it no more.
Last week, S took my Pa and I to the Melton horse races for an experience we'd not had. He assured me it wasn't going to be dressy, that my jeans would suffice, that it was a casual night. But I was so excited. I have had a year of fretting about every outing (would I be able to go and would pain take over half way?) and stressing about long nights out (so debilitating and soooooo pain management filled). And for once I was simply happy and not anxious at all. I mean I still have to take painkillers. But no more fretting.
So I finally got to take these newbies (similar here) on a test drive, and it was unbelievable how comfortable they were! Plus we had a fun night of $5 bets on horses, junk food and giggling together.
So yes I'm certainly counting those blessings, and especially the high heeled ones.